gravity

what is the thing which pulls us towards someone ? what is that force called ? gravity ? no , its the physical force which pulls 2 objects towards each other , im talking about the emotional force ... why does it exist . why does it feel so bad when someone you are most attached to leaves ? can the most advanced of technologies .. bio informatics , nano technology and blah explain this phenomenon . if they can , they better come out with a solution for this , because i am suffering :/ , i always used to say "ha ! yeah right , its all a big emotional drama" , but when you go through it yourself , you are as screwed as anyone can be .in my case the emotional gravity defied the laws of physics and one object became neutral to the force. it felt like my armor had been taken off just when I was about to face my biggest enemy , the fear of failure and I had to fight the battle alone . it absolutely ripped my defenses apart , because the jupiter of my solar system went missing just when the asteroids of trouble entered it . im trying to be as strong as I can be , but the trouble is that I miss my moon :(

the problem with 'clubbing' is ...

insomniac ronnie is at it again ! cant sleep any , and was just thinking about why people like to go clubbing ? it started out as a novel concept of youngsters getting together and getting jiggy with it ! .. but did something go wrong somewhere ? i've been to this 'clubbing' thing 6-7 times with school friends , and found it unappealing to say the least :( .. first of all we are always stags ! and we have to ask chicks who we would've probably run over with our cars during daytime for being well lets put it this way -> pretty mundane , to come in with us for the sake of getting entry :| ... well , thats a start ! while I was in pune too , a colleague of mine tried to make me mingle in with the quote unquote youth culture of pune , clubbing so as to say , and it wasnt very appealing to me either . guess ive become old now ??? or maybe i dont have a sort of group of friends where there are 5 skimpily dressed chicks with 4 'papa ke paison pe zinda' rich guys who hit the clubs 3 days a week at least for 2 consecutive weeks a month and have 1 helluva time :P ! whatever be the reason , i'd rather catch a guys' flick at my friends' place drinking whiskey till 5 in the morning , grabbing butter chicken and naan from cumsome @ nizammudin and then passing out , to do the same thing the next day ... well as the big lebowski put it "thats just your opinion man !"

those pesky little trucks

If you live in North Delhi, and wish to go to the neat part of town aka South Delhi, the ring road becomes your ‘stairway to heaven’. 5 minutes into the ride and you soon realize that this ride becomes from Mario game ka 1-1 level to 8-4 level, with pesky little trucks for dragons, coming in from anywhere and everywhere. The people involved with these trucks think they’re ‘it’ by violating timings that the trucks are supposed to follow on the ring road. They play ‘ibn batuta’ on full volume, and do their uttermost to bring traffic in the capital of the world’s next superpower to a standstill during daytime. The traffic at AIIMS flyover is a perfect example of how these trucks exacerbate the situation. As if the buses’ competing with each other like cyclists in ‘jo jeeta wahi sikandar’ was not enough, the dreaded trucks add to the woes. I get an awesome feeling showing the finger to trucks that get caught by traffic cops, so what if they don’t get what I meant, but the symbolism associated with my actions is exactly what they deserve. There is a very fine line between being a smart ass and being smart, and all the people involved with these trucks tend to unanimously deviate towards the former.

The Delhi ring road acts as a bridge between Punjab and UP and is an important link in terms of freight movement, but this shouldn’t really be bothering the working of a city, and the capital of the country for that matter. There are certain timings that are given to freight trucks between 11 PM and 8 AM that should be followed. Stricter traffic norms need to be put in place. My suggestion would be to install height adjusting barriers which would block the passage of these trucks during the times that they are not supposed to be where they show up, and to raise the barriers during night time. Sheila Dikshit should also pay some attention to this issue, instead of savoring world cuisine at page 3 parties all the time.

i have a dream

How much do you know about yourself if you’ve never been idle for too long? Well, that’s my take on the fight club dialogue “how much do you know about yourself if you’ve never been in a fight”. Let’s start drawing parallels here shall we?

We live in a society where being something is everything, but anyone who is not a someone is no one, judging by social paradigms. October 16^th, 2009 was my last working day in an IT company. IT Company!!!! Sounds fancy to those who don’t know anything about it, while anybody who has ever worked in one, has got his own story to tell about how miserable his life is, unless anyone of the following does not happen

1. He/She finds true love (or so they think!).
2. He/She has a mentor to save their ass every time.
3. He/She has absolutely no interest in career progression, and just judges how the day is going to be, based on the lunch menu. If it’s Chinese – Super cool, if its idli – this company sucks!
4. He/She gets chance to go onsite.
5. ‘He’ gets a chance to drop ‘her’ home every night due to late project timings.

Any further suggestions are welcome.

Well enough of ranting about workings of IT companies, and to tell you the truth I couldn’t really fit myself into any of the above mentioned categories, hence I became what is commonly known as ‘frusty’. I tried living like ‘aam aadmi’, taking a reasonable package home for sitting there and playing games, and facebooking. I do not mean to sound bigheaded, but that seriously did not challenge my intellect enough. I had not spent 120+ sleepless nights during my engineering to be doing this. I decided to quit my job, and come home to Delhi to prepare for MBA admission tests.

It can be surely said that the rosy feeling of being at home soon gave way to a feeling of emptiness and helplessness. Being at home used to be comfortable as long as it was for a certain period of time. This ‘tends to infinity’ feeling of time at home really took its toll on me. Perspective of people towards me and vice versa changed immensely after I was unemployed. School friends, college friends, office friends, and what not friends; you name them and I can tell you how quickly everyone became weird, maybe not directly, but oh yes; actions still speak louder than words.

My laptop soon became my best friend, and stays in that capacity till present. Acoustic guitar comes a close second. Learned so much more about life in this time, than during any other period of life. I suddenly didn’t find self motivating lines like “winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing” funny anymore and understood the meaning behind each and every one. Understood that some people had been taking me for a ride all along. I agree that I did at times feel like getting a taste of my own medicine. Understood the importance of family. My sister became my biggest source of inspiration. All the fights gave way to a better understanding of each other’s perspective on things. I must admit that I sometimes do feel shallow about not having too many friends in my life, but I’d rather walk alone than having my back stabbed around the next street corner. Felt stupid about having thought that people never change and ‘bachpan ke dost’ will still be the same forever. Figured out that I’d rather enjoy a ‘desi pauaa’ with someone I can gel with more than having an overpriced pint at an overpriced fancy place with someone I don’t really give a fuck about. A special mention has to go to a guy named Gautam. Yes this was the guy who never let me down, and somehow I get a funny feeling he never will. Didn’t really hang out with him all that much before this time, but at least I have figured out he doesn’t change colors with seasons, and maybe that I was the one, who was weird with him before.

The MBA tests passed and I thought that I’d done reasonably well. Gave it my absolute fucking everything. Got calls from ‘baap’ colleges. First one, well I thought the interview had ended before I entered the room. Maybe just 2 years of experience and speaking the truth were unforgivable crimes, or maybe I just appeared stupid to the interview panel. Didn’t clear this one. Between the 1^st and the 2^nd interview, the unthinkable happened, I got dumped. What was her reason and motivation behind it, I may never know, but I wasted 2 weeks of precious preparation time crying and sulking. Still managed to put up a decent effort at the 2^nd one, but fell short of expectations of the admissions committee. I was completely broken and shattered at this point of time; those feelings of emptiness and helplessness crumbled my confidence like paper balls. Story of rejects spread, and some ‘taanas’ like “job he join kar le dobaara”, “don’t you think you are trying to reach somewhere which is beyond your capability?”, but who was to tell these people, “I have a dream”. I am not the biggest fan of my father, but you have to give the man credit, that he never lost his faith in me. Even at certain points of time, when my mother also started doubting my credentials, my dad would always go like “kar lena hai isne, tu dekhiyo” to ma. To cut a long story short, I converted the next 2 calls, and one of them is my dream college. I always thought that I’d scream out loud if I managed to convert any one of the calls , update my facebook status to “woohoo , fuck you hairy girl from class XI and midget girl from class XII , now I will be the one who is going to pretend to not know you”. I don’t mean to sound like a sex starved baba of some ashram, but I feel that humility in face of triumph is the greatest strength one can ever imagine to achieve and hence I did not perform the aforementioned hideous act of stupidity. Maybe now I should start partying hard every night (with my laptop and acoustic guitar), but Im just too emotionally drained after what I’ve gone through during the last 6 months. I just want to sleep now. I want to live my dream now. Peace!

ronster inc.

today , i went to gurudwara with my dad in the morning , everything was pretty normal , we prayed , and then went to the sarovar behind the gurudwara . Seeing the fishes in there and my dad dipping his feet in the water reminded me of my childhood . It was an amazing feeling , as if god himself was saying "what have you become child" . I have never ever felt this strongly about life before as I did in that one instance . The innocent me of 15 years back who would run around the sarovar with my dad shouting "ronnie , mat bhaag aas paas , chot lag jaayegi" , and this monster that I have turned into today who thinks that giving sarcastic answers to parents is a very smart thing to do . I swear to lord , I will do my utmost to remain the child that I was to my parents all those years ago . Somehow life doesnt let anyone remain simple and innocent , and eventually we all become frustrated in some sort of way , and so have I . Now after this introspection and divine intervention that I felt, I have a renewed respect for my parents . This ronster will turn into their chhota sa bacha ronnie again :)

change of views !

maybe taking a break from job has gotten to me , or maybe it has been a good experience . All the frustrations have slowly been swept away . It is now that I realize the importance of family . My sister who used to be my nemesis when we were kids is now the driving force in my life . My mum has been the shield that has protected me from all things bad that come my way . It is now that I realize it , but better late than never .Now that I am back home, I hate pune even more than before , and often end up asking myself, that was my stint there really worth it ? Down with your aamchis and kaamchis or whatever ... Saadi dilli is the best . Still trying to get into a good B school . It is now after 24 long years of my life that I have realized, that struggle is an inherent part of life , and there are 2 ways to deal with it . Crib or fight . I always used to crib , but now I see myself leaning towards the latter . I havent had the best childhoods by any stretch of anyone's imagination , and that has sort of transformed my heart into a cold solid rock (aaahh ... poetry) . I always felt hard done by everything happening around me , but now I have realized that life aint no international court of justice or anything . Its life . Work hard . Do well .

Lets see how long the optimism lasts :P !

common lines after people get drunk

most commonly heard in engineering college daaru parties

1. Tu to Mera bhai hai...

2.You know i am not drunk...

3. Gaadi mai Chalaunga...

5. Tu bura mat manana bhai...

6. Mai teri Dil Se Izzat Karta hu...

7. Abe bol daal aaj usko, aar yaa paar....

8. Aaj saali Chad nahi rahi hai kya bat hai...

9. Tu Kya samajh raha hai mujhe chad gayi hai...

10. Ye mat samajh ki piye me bol raha hu...

11.Abe yaar kahin kam to nahi padegi itnee...

12. Chhote, Ek Ek Chhota aur ho Jae...

13. Baap ko mat Sikha.

14. Yaar magar tune mera dil tod diya...

15. Kuchh bhi hai par saala Bhai hai Apna...

16. Tu Bolna Bhai, kya chahiye...Jaan chahiye hazir hai ???

17.Abe mere ko aaj tak nahi Chadee...shart laga saala aaj tu..

18. Chal teri baat karata hoon usse, phone number de uska...

19 . Yaar aaj uski bahut yaad aa rahi hai..

20. Abe sabne finish kar li tu kya kar raha hai chal khaali kar esko.

21. Abe jaldi kaahe ki abhi raat apni hai aur kal chutti hai.